back to the past to the future.

One cannot call me the good girl, I am also not the steroetypical bad girl. As a result, people just dont get me. hehe. Not that it bothers me. When I was a kid, making friends for me is not hard, but keeping them could be quite a task. i can still remember this one time when the mom of one of my classmates came to school to talk, nay, confront me because I hit her kid. Being the stubborn me, I remember keeping a stern face and doing a series of bullying that classmate for the remaining 2 years of our elementary life.

That’s just how I am. I dont really care unless I realized I have to. I get tired of a thing so I will stop doing it all together. Life, as the saying goes, was simple for me back then. Though I have the tendency of over simplyfying things. 

Or maybe, I was just that good that I find it simple. But, that was long ago. 

Simplicity. I always crave for this, but the forces made me so hungry for things I do not need. Feelings that I thought made me feel human all together, or more. 

 Now, that I realized that being simple is the way to go, I strive. I fail.

I strive harder. I fail harder.

I am striving more. Hoping I will not fail anymore.

But who am I kidding? Everyone of is destined to be failures in each of our sick little world. Wait, this is not a reason to slit that wrist, or to watch that 20-episode koreanovela — this.is.just.the.way.it.is.

Don’t really give a crap of the happiness thing anymore. Give me a few weeks, I’ll say and certainly I will turn out to be ten-folds happier than people who seek happiness or working their asses off for that purpose-driven life (literature included, yeah bite me)